Friday, August 13, 2010

Time Flies

365 days ago, right about this very time, I was sitting in the living room, Googling "practice contractions". 

"That can't be right", I thought to myself. "Says here that if you have more than 5 contractions in a hour to go to the hospital. I've had like five in the last twenty minutes. Stupid internets."

Just to be on the safe side, I figured I may as well get down to packing my hospital bag. Wouldn't want to be caught unprepared when the baby comes.

I went into my bedroom and laid down on the bed. "Just for a few minutes", I thought. "Until these practice contractions go away."

Some time later (like, an hour) I got up and tottered to the washroom. That's when I realized it was time to go to the hospital.

Three hours and much blood and screaming later, Captian Chaos emergered triumphant into the world.

Much like mama, he headed straight for the buffet at this new party he was suddenly attending. It took him a tenth of a second to zero in on the good stuff and start eating. My boy.

It was then, cradling this tiny, naked, helpless human that I'd had a hand in creating, that my whole world shifted. Suddenly, violently. Nothing would ever be the same. Love was to take on a whole new meaning for me; love was something that, until then, I'd had no concept of. Of course I thought I did, but there are a lot of things I thought I knew before Chaos.

In the year that has passed since that night, I've learned about strength and commitment (and lack thereof). I've gotten up six times a night for months on end and learned that I can indeed survive on less than ten hours' sleep a night. Who knew? I've gotten over my (fairly natural) reticence to expose my breasts in a public place - without being plastered. I've learned the joy that one tiny toothless grin can bring. I've watched my son grow and change from an impossibly small newborn to a strong little roughneck and realized that time does, indeed, fly.

The list goes on, but I'm tired and still have to bake a cake for my slumbering son before I too can hit the hay.

I just wanted to say thanks for all you've given me, for all you've taught me, for all of our adventures, my son. I can't believe it's been a year. I love you.

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