Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Road Trip! (or, Ten Days Without my Laptop)

Only fifteen years till he's doing this for real!!
Ten days days ago, I threw Captain Chaos in the carseat and took off  a road trip. ( I did not literally throw him. Put down the phone.)

After much deliberation, number crunching, nail biting, and forecast checking, I decided on a Wednesday night that, on Thursday afternoon, I would start out with my 11 month old son on a camping trip. It would span three provinces and nearly two weeks. The only destination I had was Starbelly Jam, a music festival in Crawford Bay, BC. There, I was to meet up with some old friends for a weekend of music, sun, swimming, and general hippie-ness.

Chaos at Starbelly
Starbelly Jam covered the first weekend. After that, I had no idea. I had vague notions of meeting up with other road-tripping members of my family somewhere in the mountains. Possibly we would make it all the way to the coast. Maybe I would visit far-flung friends in various places between here and there. Who knew? All I knew was that I really wanted to meet and reconnect with my friends in a place that was near and dear to all of our hearts, and I would figure the rest out from there.

Wednesday night and most of Thursday were spent in a flurry of packing food and baby items into the car. The camping equipment was no problem, as it lives in my trunk most of the summer anyway. I did, however, nearly forget to pack clothing for myself. Captain Chaos had a duffel bag full. For being such tiny human beings, babies sure travel heavy.

My family was supportive, and sweet. I think they realized that, with baby #2 due this winter, there was a good chance that I wouldn't be able to do this sort of thing again for quite a while. My father checked the fluid levels in my new-to-me car and taught me how to change the tire if the need arose. Grandma rushed off to CAA under the ruse of getting Alberta and BC maps for me. When she came back, she also had a CAA membership for me. An early birthday present, she told me. I am a lucky girl to have a family such as mine.

With the sun already creeping westward, we were finally packed and ready to hit the road.

West! (and a little bit south..)
As we headed west on the #1, a feeling of anticipation and elation gripped me. My first road trip in the driver's seat, and I was lucky enough to have my favorite person in the whole world riding along with me!
I won't go into a whole lot of detail about our trip, except to say it was by far the best thing I've done for myself in a long, long time. I got to hang out with old friends in old haunts and new situations. I got to ride around my old hood and reminisce, and I got to check out some cool new things in my hometown.  Baby and I got to bond in some really beautiful parts of the country, and Cap'n Chaos got to be nekkid on many different beaches. ( Trust me, it's important to him.)
A few of his favorite things
The Captain's first boat ride!
I got a chance to show my beautiful son off to many friends and family members who, until now, have had to be content with nothing more than pictures. And, needless to say, the little guy cleaned up on our trip. He got just about all the attention, love, and loot that he could handle. I'm pretty sure dragging all his cool new stuff back home across two provinces cost me an extra tank of gas!
Uncle's favorite nephew!
Most importantly, I got a chance to reconnect with myself. I found a little piece of me that's been missing for a while now; something that I didn't even realize was gone until I found it again. When I came here two years ago, it was to help another person. Then, before I knew it, I was in another highly unadvisable relationship with someone who did nothing but take from me.  So, without even realizing what had happened, I found myself giving everything I had to other people, and not leaving anything for myself. Again. It's not a good place to be.
I am lucky enough to have one beautiful child who takes everything I give, wraps it in love and affection and general amazingness, and gives it back to me one hundredfold. And OMG I have another one on the way! I need to be the absolute best I can be for these two little blessings, so that I can give that to them. And that means being the person I was meant to be, not changing who I am for some loser who doesn't appreciate it anyway.

I think that's a pretty rad thing to come away from a road trip with. When I was young, all I ended up with after road trips was a wrecked tent and a hangover!


  1. AWww That sounded like it was a wonderful time, I almost teared up reading it... Yah.. I could be a tad emotional but really it sounded like an amazing adventure with your little man that gave you back more than you thought it ever would. Glad you took that trip. xo

  2. Aww...I almost teared up just reading your comment! The trip was super amazing, and it gave me the steel to come back and deal with life's daily shitstorm.

    Thanks for commenting, too! It's nice to know I have more than one reader. :)

  3. Reader #2 says:
    It was so great to see you, dear old friend...and to meet Captain Chaos hisself! So stoked to read this, Lady...what an adventure! complete with perspective, and serendipity, and kismet (are thems the same thing?!), and warm fuzzies...glad you found that part of You again...<3

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